for better or worse
4:15 pm & 7th of January, 2005

I've been feeling worse everyday, but better at the same time.

Yes, my entire body is still aching, and I'm not sure why. I haven't done anything to make myself feel this way. I suppose it could be because of waking up at 5:30 every morning for school this past week. My body still hasn't readjusted to waking up at such an early hour.

I'm feeling better because I've been thinking about going home. I know it's soon. If all goes as planned, and Dad and I go for a few days to take our things to storage, then I only have 20 days until I see Ryan. I hope the plan remains because I really want to see Ryan. I miss him terribly. This past week, I think he's missed me a lot, too, because he and I have talked pretty much every night.

He's quitting his band tonight, then he's going to call me. He's been wanting to quit for a good amount of time now, but he hasn't really "gained the courage," I guess, to do so. He still loves music, and he still plans on starting another band. It's just, he and his bandmates haven't been seeing eye-to-eye on where they would like to go with the sound of their music.

I'm pretty sure I'll sleep a lot this weekend. I hope I do because I've been extremely tired, and since I haven't been feeling well, I should really sleep and gain back my strength because right now, I feel incredibly weak.

Yes, yes, sleep is good.

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